(11/25/2008 10:25:00 PM): i miss you so much lately (11/25/2008 10:25:49 PM): i dont know why but you just keep popping into my head i miss you i want to see you i miss being with you (11/25/2008 10:26:38 PM): where are you? howre you doing? i just need to be able to talk to you now (11/25/2008 10:27:27 PM): im not even sure if that what i want i just need you right now but i know i cant have you (11/25/2008 10:27:44 PM): everytime i feel like it (11/25/2008 10:28:24 PM): but i just miss you so much i cant say anything else i just do. and i wonder if youre ok (11/25/2008 10:29:34 PM): and i know you wont be back but i still keep hoping and dreaming youll come back home (11/25/2008 10:30:29 PM): and im getting far too emotional tonight its weird i dont even want to acknowledge it but i cant deny it (11/25/2008 10:31:41 PM): theres a lot of things i just dont understand right now and im doubting you as much as i love you but im placing all my hopes in you anyway (11/25/2008 10:32:02 PM): not that it'll do me any good (11/25/2008 10:32:42 PM): ive never been as honest to any one as i have been with you, and now you've left me raw (11/25/2008 10:33:54 PM): where are you? (11/25/2008 10:36:21 PM): im waiting for you but im not even sure if youre coming home or not but im still keeping the door open for you tonight i might fall asleep though, but please wake me up when you get here beacause i just really need to feel you (11/25/2008 10:37:51 PM): i just need to know you're still there (11/25/2008 10:40:12 PM): you know ive always just stood behind you, i dont want to burden you the responsibility of my direction (11/25/2008 10:41:14 PM): im not sure really what i want but i have to figure this out on my own until you get back to me
(1/29/2009 11:06:56 PM): i miss you and i think you know that (1/29/2009 11:07:36 PM): the euphoria from last time still lingers but its wearing off fast (1/29/2009 11:08:18 PM): i tried to think about it and mulled it over (1/29/2009 11:08:39 PM): im trying to give it reason, find doubt in it, (1/29/2009 11:08:57 PM): but i cant seem to put my finger on it (1/29/2009 11:09:21 PM): and that's what kept the euphoria going i guess (1/29/2009 11:09:25 PM): wierd (1/29/2009 11:09:59 PM): because i just cant see it other than the plaintiveness that you might have meant it to be (1/29/2009 11:10:20 PM): but now im missing you again... (1/29/2009 11:10:49 PM): is this going to be a monthly thing? im beggining to see a pattern now... (1/29/2009 11:11:47 PM): i dont think i can hold it in quite that long... (1/29/2009 11:12:09 PM): a weeks time at least please (1/29/2009 11:12:34 PM): i may be able to take a bit longer but that would be straining it (1/29/2009 11:13:09 PM): itd be pointless to do so on a daily basis.. (1/29/2009 11:13:42 PM): im not even sure id want that either... or may be i do... but just not too long (1/29/2009 11:14:37 PM): i cant bear it that long... and hugging my pillow gets old without hearing from you (1/29/2009 11:16:04 PM): and now... i really should be resting.. but im back to my habit of waiting for you... no matter how futile i think it may be.. (1/29/2009 11:16:26 PM): the slightest glimmer of hope keeps me planted here
(1/29/2009 11:17:17 PM): cliche i know... pardon me... in all hastiness, i just dont have the space to process anything deeper or even try to mask it into something else
(1/29/2009 11:18:19 PM): and now i have to feed the dogs...
(1/29/2009 11:24:25 PM): ..... and now im back to waiting... (1/29/2009 11:25:15 PM): if my sighs were any indication of time it would be relatively long and deep (1/29/2009 11:25:37 PM): but exactly how time grew deep i dont really understand... (1/29/2009 11:25:58 PM): it just somehow feels that way sometimes when youre buried in it (1/29/2009 11:26:20 PM): you'll just notice that it is and you're already in deep shit (1/29/2009 11:26:26 PM): hahahahaha (1/29/2009 11:26:43 PM): lets see... four hours off? (1/29/2009 11:27:15 PM): so it should be around half past 7 in your time (1/29/2009 11:27:41 PM): i wonder if you're already home? would you be too tired now? (1/29/2009 11:28:00 PM): or are you still waiting for your shuttle? (1/29/2009 11:28:37 PM): ow wait sorry... todays only wednesday? (1/29/2009 11:28:48 PM): shit!!! hahahha (1/29/2009 11:29:00 PM): ill have to get back on that... (1/29/2009 11:29:15 PM): no... wait... right!!! its thursday!!! (1/29/2009 11:29:39 PM): was it friday then?... (1/29/2009 11:30:02 PM): but the thing is i might not get the chance again... (1/29/2009 11:30:29 PM): its ideal true... but it just doesnt work that way.. (1/29/2009 11:33:47 PM): im not posting all of this... (1/29/2009 11:33:57 PM): yeah i miss you so much baby.. (1/29/2009 11:34:09 PM): when will you be back home? (1/29/2009 11:34:23 PM): i miss being able to take care of you (1/29/2009 11:35:11 PM): to look after you... (1/29/2009 11:38:27 PM): and iknow it wont amount to anything tomorrow (1/29/2009 11:39:16 PM): and i know i shouldnt think so but there are just things you know firsthand (1/29/2009 11:40:02 PM): and iknow itll be in vain, but ive already set myself up for it... might as weel just go in and then get out... (1/29/2009 11:41:36 PM): how much longer should i wait for you... (1/29/2009 11:41:51 PM): i know i probably shouldnt wait up... (1/29/2009 11:42:09 PM): but tomorrows friday and ive got nothing else to do... (1/29/2009 11:42:37 PM): yeah tomorrows friday... (1/29/2009 11:43:10 PM): i guess ill just finish the song...
"Anong Nakain mo??!!!" ayon kay Rikel (29may08) An Ode to New York
......Remember before when i said i thank you because i feel that i owe you? (i doubt it though kse feeling ko may memory gap ka na) i realize i wasn't very clear on that. Well, 'thank you' is for being the one person in that office that made me think again (can you tell that this is going to be a bit cheesy? hahahha!) Alm mo un, I'm like one of those channels on TV, im not sure what you call them, un mga...how do you spell static-y? staticy? nd naman staticky? hahaha madikit lng (o static-iy) channels? Gets mo? or simply those with very poor reception? un! un ako. i think it started sometime when i was into my 6th month, i basically lost 'reception', and everything was just a blurry perception of what i really wanted. alam mo un, and then there were times when i had those "quick flashes of brilliant thinking", just like that same channel that suddenly flashes and you start to see something in the picture? and then its gone, just before you could make anything out of what you've just seen. (see, that's why i love ....., she was almost always the one i was with during those instances hahahah) gnon na gnon utak ko! (i think you can tell) and then i met you... (NAKS!!!!) (parang telenovela! hahahah mali kanta pla!!! hahha) No, seriously, i wish i had talked to you sooner. You were that one person that made me start thinking again. dear if i appear bitter that you're resigning, its just basically because i think you're holding my antenna to make the reception a bit clearer. lam mo ung hahawakan mo pa tlga tpos lilinaw pero pg binitawan mo balik sa dati, static na naman (those were the days before cable TV). Selfish, i know. i told you i was selfish. haaaay, pro am just saying this just so you know why i say i feel like i owe you. so here's the reasoning behind that. at sbe mo nga you feel that working here has already done its purpose for you, and i think in that time, your time, its also done the purpose for me. kaya thank you talaga. Sbe mo you cant direct someones life unless you give direction to yours, pro i think there are various aspects direction and i think you have more direction than you think you do. sana na gets mo kc ang haba na nito. The 2nd purpose of this litany is goodbye din. its just hard to say goodbye to someone who's affected so much of you in a short span of time. un lng!!! kaya don't worry i wont cry on your last day! che!!! Good lord, sna mabasa mo to bago ko dumating! Sobrang cheesy! nakakahiya! buti na lng mabilis ka mgbasa! ang haba no???!! hahahahha! C u mya... kung pumasok ka
3rd quarterly exam, music III, para isumite kay ian eugenio
Everything is just a matter of perspective. And sadly, I couldn't say that everyone has a panoramic perspective of things and objectivity. Which isn't really a bad thing, because then, you'd be too detached to see the details which make up the whole picture. As in the case of the author of this article from which we are to compose our own reaction paper. This comes in relevance to answering the posed questions so as to differentiate my own views on the matter and that of the author and in reaction to his (the author) perception.
Before I can detach my own insight on the subject matter, I've discerned at which angle the author approaches his subject. And it was rather obvious that his was a point made a little bit, if not all of it, in biased light. The author was subjectively defending the prosecuted topic. This suggests that he too, is or would be an aspiring rapper, or maybe just an avid fan of rap music. And meaning so, the article composed would be predisposed to answer 'no' to the second and third questions, since the first one would need a more exhaustive reasoning.
So how does rap music affect or influence the behavior of its listeners? Again, a matter of perspective, and one which I cannot conclude in concrete unless I myself were to conduct a survey and a scientific study, which at this point in time, I really wouldn't have credentials for. So for the sake of this reaction paper, my own perception would have to suffice. People are complicated creatures. There's so much thought and factors that can effect the simplest of actions. Humanity is an intricate web, and we cannot simply categorize their actions between right and wrong. So it would be natural to assume that two people will not see or realize the same conclusion from one source. The first person can simply see it as a form of entertainment. The same person can easily be detached or easily deviated obviously doesn't feel it as an intense connection to his own persona. This is in contrast with person no. 2. Who might see this music as an extension of himself and feel so strongly about the object that he or she would feel the need to express it or somehow do something about it. As people vary in emotional and mental wavelengths, it would probably be more accurate to base the answer from a steadily conducted study of psychology in music.
The second issue can be viewed from both sides of the question. The justification to ban rap music can come from both the anti's and the pros. And basing from the article, it's just a question of who appreciates the type of music and who doesn't. The authorities and religious sectors seem to comprise most of the non-appreciators. But in my personal opinion, the author was right in saying that people were just looking for the easy answer. It's another sad nature that we leave a wide open door policy to blame. And I would have to agree with the author on this one. So, no. I don't think that there stands to be any justification in banning rap music. I mean, after all, aren't we all entitled to freedom of expression? It would probably be the most famous amendment of all, not only in America. And it is very true that violence has lived even before the era of rap music. Counting that violence in itself is such a vast topic in itself that one cannot pinpoint it to just one root cause. It's just as much the same as it is as easy as placing the responsibility based on the human instinct which questions trust and pretty much more or less, humanity's vanity at self preservation. We can point the finger at anyone else, it's always someone else's fault, just as long as it is not ours. We are all Pilates in our own senses.
And we move towards the third and last question. Is rap music the cause of violence? Or the people who listen to it? I'm not even sure I should still answer this one. To do so is just plain redundancy. But for the sake of a reaction paper, the answer would be to conclude the first two issues, as this is pretty much a leading question in itself.
Rap music as the cause of violence is in perspective. Depending on from which angle one approaches it. But from my point of view, it really is just a form of expression. And the violence that they put blame on it as its cause cannot really be justified to have just rooted in this one genre. So, really, the answer is no. rap music in itself cannot cause destruction. It's not its sound waves and lyrics that are accused of murder and other crimes. It's the people that choose to act on it. We cannot typecast everyone who listens to this music as violent, aggressive people. But there's always that person who chooses to act on their own judgment and interpret it as so. But then again, who are we really to point the finger at him?
(1/1/2009 8:36:25 PM): should i still call you as promised? (1/1/2009 8:36:53 PM): you,ve been exceptionally cold and im not so sure if i should... (1/1/2009 8:37:20 PM): i want to keep my promise but i dont want to seem persistent (1/1/2009 8:37:26 PM): though you know i am (1/1/2009 8:41:21 PM): i want to try though (1/1/2009 8:41:38 PM): just so i can say i did (1/1/2009 8:42:14 PM): but it just sucks up to think that you dont seem to remember that you forgot (1/1/2009 8:42:35 PM): and it just sucks more that i know (1/1/2009 8:43:56 PM): and maybe it sucks more because its my first day of this year and im not feeling well (1/1/2009 8:44:23 PM): and it doesnt help that im aware of the source of it all (1/1/2009 8:44:32 PM): and i still acnt do anything about it (1/1/2009 8:45:02 PM): and maybe im just missing you too much (1/1/2009 8:45:11 PM): and maybe im just jealous (1/1/2009 8:45:28 PM): and maytbe im just expecting too much (1/1/2009 8:45:41 PM): and maybe im just overthinking it (1/1/2009 8:46:27 PM): and maybe this solace has finally caught up to me (1/1/2009 8:46:51 PM): and im not sure if i can still ignore it (1/1/2009 8:46:56 PM): you know that (1/1/2009 8:47:09 PM): i told you that before when you asked me (1/1/2009 8:47:26 PM): but would you remember (1/1/2009 8:47:58 PM): and then if i do you might hear the lie in my voice (1/1/2009 8:48:07 PM): though im not sure you'd notice
(12/20/2008 8:40:49 PM): you just frustrate me right now (12/20/2008 8:41:51 PM): im not even sure if im hurt or angry everything just comes in passing now too often and i like to think im gone numb with them (12/20/2008 8:43:11 PM): this is definitely stupid (12/20/2008 8:44:03 PM): im tired and i just want to be over this now its just not worth it anymore (12/20/2008 8:44:36 PM): its not what it used to be and its getting clearer that im headed nowhere (12/20/2008 8:45:31 PM): it was never as vivid as this or i was just too jaded then by your presence (12/20/2008 8:45:54 PM): im seeing some perspective now and im not so sure if i like it (12/20/2008 8:46:15 PM): its gone gray again and ive washed it a couple more times (12/20/2008 8:46:28 PM): but i just cant seem to get the color right (12/20/2008 8:46:36 PM): and im tired of this (12/20/2008 8:46:43 PM): of all of this (12/20/2008 8:47:03 PM): and im afraid im slowly being sucked in (12/20/2008 8:47:54 PM): and im trying to claw myself out every once in a while but then again i lose grip and drive (12/20/2008 8:48:14 PM): sometimes i think i should be happy (12/20/2008 8:48:21 PM): i am i think at least (12/20/2008 8:48:28 PM): but im not content (12/20/2008 8:48:43 PM): i want to be able to do something now (12/20/2008 8:48:58 PM): and maybe ive just got to wait and it'll come (12/20/2008 8:49:06 PM): but what if it doesnt (12/20/2008 8:49:08 PM): ? (12/20/2008 8:49:39 PM): what if i should be running now but i just dont feel the ground on my feet? (12/20/2008 8:50:03 PM): my track is overgrown (12/20/2008 8:50:33 PM): im seeing both sides of what i believe in and thats never a good sign (12/20/2008 8:51:02 PM): and now im just groping
(12/6/2008 8:56:35 PM): im missing you still paranoia's setting in at its deepest (12/6/2008 8:57:03 PM): and im lost, im remembering evertything that started this (12/6/2008 8:57:39 PM): and i still cant get out of it. as i see it im digging myself deeper in each time (12/6/2008 8:57:58 PM): but i enjoy the pain but i know ive got to get out of this hole (12/6/2008 8:59:06 PM): i pretend i dont know why, im just afraid acknowledging it would make everything surreal (12/6/2008 8:59:23 PM): yes (12/6/2008 8:59:53 PM): you always made me smile, but then all the emotions that folloes comes with it as well (12/6/2008 9:00:13 PM): im sick and waiting... and i shouldnt be listening to these songs (12/6/2008 9:00:53 PM): i should just think of better days but im stuck and im trying to dig myself out, its just that im too tired to move (12/6/2008 9:01:30 PM): and the songs that follow are inconsequential to reality (12/6/2008 9:01:42 PM): i just made you up to hurt myself (12/6/2008 9:02:06 PM): im losing focus and slowly drifting into the abstract
(12/5/2008 11:23:14 PM): so is taht it (12/5/2008 11:23:17 PM): ? (12/5/2008 11:23:30 PM): you make me feel taht way again (12/5/2008 11:24:51 PM): the way you always do, giddily happy in one moment, and then schizophrenic paranoid the next (12/5/2008 11:24:57 PM): it always was (12/5/2008 11:26:02 PM): the way you are, sweet and sensitive, and then suddenly youre not there (12/5/2008 11:26:56 PM): it has always been that way, of course, one moment you/re with me, and then you've gone back again
(12/5/2008 11:27:15 PM): and how or even, why would i compete with that (12/5/2008 11:28:15 PM): and i know its completely foolish but i cant help it (12/5/2008 11:28:36 PM): ive already convinced myself so many times (12/5/2008 11:29:06 PM): but thats not whats weighing me down right now (12/5/2008 11:29:46 PM): its my missing you terribly again, and the paranoia of you walking out of my life for good (12/5/2008 11:30:36 PM): you've given me more than what you were required, so does that mean you're paying me off (12/5/2008 11:31:00 PM): see the extents of my paranoia? (12/5/2008 11:31:18 PM): im overly sensitive, (12/5/2008 11:31:53 PM): and thoughts that im not sure of come into play more often than i want them to (12/5/2008 11:32:06 PM): its sickening (12/5/2008 11:32:19 PM): i can only hope im wrong (12/5/2008 11:32:42 PM): and then go on living with the hope in the memory of you (12/5/2008 11:33:30 PM): its sad, but its all i got right now so im grasping on to it (12/5/2008 11:33:59 PM): when will you be back?
(11/28/2008 9:05:31 PM): and now you're back again (11/28/2008 9:05:39 PM): and i dont even know what to say (11/28/2008 9:05:56 PM): just like that and i dont even know what you mean by that (11/28/2008 9:06:03 PM): im reading it diffrently (11/28/2008 9:06:22 PM): that understandable (11/28/2008 9:06:39 PM): i dont think we see it the same wqay (11/28/2008 9:06:44 PM): you know that (11/28/2008 9:06:54 PM): you know more than youre letting on (11/28/2008 9:07:01 PM): but thats not helping (11/28/2008 9:11:24 PM): what (11/28/2008 9:11:39 PM): where are you?
(11/28/2008 9:11:57 PM): i dont get you lately (11/28/2008 9:12:07 PM): but i miss you more than ever (11/28/2008 9:12:16 PM): i dont know what youre trying to do
